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Today started out pretty ordinary – French classes in the morning, lunch with my pal Über-geek (she embraces it, I’m not being mean), then on to syntax.  But in class, I had a moment of clarity.  It may be the only one I have this semester, but damn if it wasn’t worth it.  We started talking about d-structure and s-structure, and I kept thinking, “so, we’re just moving crap to make it fit with the word order?”  But then, I got it.  It helped that I was appointed assistant for the examples (he asked for French examples, and I not only speak French, but sit in an aisle seat).  I felt pretty exposed, terrified that I’d make a mistake (I try not to be so paranoid about making mistakes, but I am human).  But I did it – I understood the theory, as opposed to thinking, “well this is what I learned, so I guess that’s the way it’s done.”  And now, what seemed to be an arbitrary rule actually has some logic behind it.  Dang, that’s pretty bad-ass!

That said, moments of clarity are pretty few and far between.  What is it about moments of clarity – why are they so damn elusive?  Is my brain not working properly?  Am I ignoring the signs, and if I were paying more attention, I would see them?  Am I asking too many damn questions?

In other news, the half-assed paper I did on Ourika has been assigned a grade.  I didn’t get to keep the paper, as the professor hadn’t finished writing comments (or, hadn’t written any comments, as far as I could tell – maybe she writes them on a separate sheet of paper).  I got a 90, which is below my paper-writing average; considering the agony I went through to write it, and my shameless lack of proofreading, I feel pretty good about it.  My fear is that if she looks at it again, the many (assumed) grammatical errors will cause her to rethink my grade.  I’m a worrier.  That’s just how I roll.

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