I get into work today, with a sense of enthusiasm appropriate to the prospect of spending the evening flirting with GSS.  I walk into the library, and I see him…talking to another woman.  His back is to me, so I just walk on by, disappointed, but thinking that maybe flirting will still be had.  But he doesn’t come back.

Then, I have the opportunity to read the board (so-and-so is out Fri, what’s-her-face will be late Tues., etc.).  GSS is out for the next 12 days.  Fuck.  So I’m good and bummed, as you can imagine.

This is where (wait for it) I channel my inner Kenny Rogers.  You know, he is right.  You do need to know when to fold ’em, know when to hold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.  And I like to think, much like that Gambler, I do know when to make that choice.  And I think it is time to fold ’em and walk away.

Because I’m getting too invested, and that was totally not the point.  The point was to flirt, have a good time, and see where it led.  But know, I get all disappointed if he’s late, or takes the day off….That should not be my priority.  It might be worth it if something had already started beyond the confines of my imagination, but quite frankly, it seems stupid to give a damn when it comes to some guy I barely know.  So maybe someday I will sit at the table when the cards are dealt (if I may beat this metaphor to a bloody pulp), but not today.

I have been toying with laying my cards on the table as I go, but I probably won’t.

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