Today, after I had changed my shirt two times (for very good reasons – shirt #1 still smelled slightly of basement from hanging to dry in the laundry room Sunday night, shirt #2 fit when I was 20 pounds heavier, and shirt #3 was “just right”), I went off to work.  Sure, I go to work to earn the money necessary to keep body and soul together, I go to work because I enjoy helping students, and that one day, when I am a TA, this experience will have helped me.  But yes, I also go to work for the opportunities for flirting with GSS.  He is on the schedule, he is on the list, but lately he is not there.  Alas, GSS was not working today.  In fact, it occurred to me that he is a figment of my imagination.  And it does follow:  a good-looking, intelligent, well-educated man who seemed to be interested in me?  Why not a rabbit that brings baskets of candy, or a fairy that brings spending money in exchange for lost teeth?  At this point, it seems just as likely.

So today is the day that I lumped GSS with Sasquatch (or Yeti, if you prefer), Champy and Nessie.  He may exist, and there may have been sightings, but I don’t have enough evidence to make the call one way or another.  And you know, my mythical crush did serve a purpose:  he did push me, after a fashion, to stop brooding over my failed relationship with the Ex, and to start thinking about, if not actually love, the possibility of love (or at any rate, sex).  And that’s no small feat.  Just like Santa helps children understand the spirit of Christmas, so GSS helped me understand that I could move on, and that would be okay, too.

The old cliche (still no diacritics) is that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but after a certain point, the heart gets bored.  And at this point, I’m getting the same return on my “investment” as I do from my celebrity crush, Clive Owen.  And my celebrity crush requires a lot less effort on my part (“Ooh, he’s purty!”).

That said, if GSS starts showing up to work again, I reserve the right to resume my crush already in progress.

***

I am bound and determine to beat Phonology into submission:  right now, it is the other way around.  My midterm is next week, and if I have to reread my textbook 10 times to finally get a grip on this material, by God, I’ll reread my textbook 100 times, if I thought it would help (I hope it doesn’t take even 10 times – the book is not a “fun” read).  It has now gone from a desire to do well in the class to a point of honor:  dammit, I’m an intelligent woman, and I will understand this!

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