Friday, I had been ruminating over some stuff we had covered in Phonology.  By the time I got home, I decided to e-mail some of my questions to my Phonology professor, to see if I had lost my way.  It turns out that I may be having my moment of clarity after all, and about damn time, too.  So all is not lost (actually, all is not lost until the final is blown, but I doubt that would have happened).  As a matter of fact, I got my midterm back from my big scary grad class – I got an A (a low A, but ultimately that does not matter).  Maybe this is all a crisis of confidence, and I need to go out and prove to myself that I actually have some (confidence, or maybe brain power – probably both).

I would also like some confidence in matters not pertaining to academia – confidence regarding GSS.  What’s that, you say?  You’re mocking me because I have not yet said die, though lately there has been nothing but a series of ambiguously-quasi-flirtatious e-mails, the last two to which he didn’t respond?  And you have every right to mock me.  I should be mocked.  What possible indication do I have that he is even thinking of asking me out?  More to the point, other than an appreciation for his conversational skills and the recognition that I find him good looking, what actual attachment do I have to him?  Very little, but I am stubborn, and it is unlike me to give up the crush now.  Which should also be mocked, since it almost seems as if I a) developed a mild interest b) was intrigued once this mild interest worked its way from my subconscious c) worked my mild interest into moderate interest due to some slight reciprocation d) developed a never-say-die attitude when confronted with minor obstacles.  Seems?  That’s exactly what has happened.  This thing has gotten away from me, and I need to bring it back to where it should be.  Which is this: there is this guy that I work with from time to time.  I think he’s kind of cute, and we seem to have certain interests in common.  It’s fun to talk to him.  Maybe sometime we can talk someplace other than work.  That might be a pleasant way to pass the time.

Let’s see if I can maintain this even keel for the rest of the week.  I have to maintain my strength and my sanity for my impending thirty-mmmhmmm birthday.

But first, Godot’s midterm needs finishing.

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