I don’t often throw parties, as they fail (or are very, very lame) about 2/3 of the time.  However, I was seized by the impulse to do so.  This was a majority rules party, as no one showed up.  Let me reiterate this, as it is important.

No one showed up to my party.

After about a half an hour, I decided to pack it in and went to rent a couple of movies.  I did get a call from KSP, who wanted to apologize for not calling me in advance that she wasn’t going to make it until an hour after the scheduled start time.  I mentioned that the festivities had been cancelled due to lack of interest, but she was more than welcome to come over and watch Ratatouille with me (which was so cute I almost exploded).  We had hot cocoa and watched the movie.

But I’m still wondering why I have such a lousy track record with parties.  A 33% success rate is kind of pathetic.  Do people like me?  They seem to.  Do I give enough advance notice for these events?  Two weeks seems sufficient.  Is it because I don’t actually like parties (they tend to make me nervous)?  Interesting.  Maybe the anxiety I have sends waves to my friends, making them not want to go.  Don’t get me wrong, I like having a good time as much as the next person, but groups of more than 5 are problematic for me.  I’m more of a small group person – give me an environment of 4 people and I’m charming and witty.  A group of 20 is an entirely different matter – I tend to have a really good conversation with one person, but before and/or after, I tend to drift along, not really fitting in with any of the groups that form during the course of a party.

When I was the Junior Junior, I once had a Halloween party that was remarkable because it was both sparsely attended (it seemed as though the laws of physics would not allow me to have more than 3 guests at any one time – roughly a dozen people dropped by, but in shifts), and the loudest party I had ever hosted.  I seem to recall my roommate (a Philosophy major) trying to debunk patriarchy by positing (loudly) the theory of “breast envy.”  If you’ve ever seen The Mary Tyler Moore Show, imagine the episodes where she is misguided enough to throw a party, and you’ve got my track record with the damn things.

I have had successful parties before, so maybe I shouldn’t take it too personally.  Or should I?