You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him (or her) drink Friday, May 30 2008 

A couple of weeks ago, I hosted a thang for the end of the semester.  The Young Man was going to come and, to thank me for my proofreading help, he was going to buy me a drink.  Except, unfortunately, he couldn’t make it to the thang, but offered a raincheck.  All well and good, but he is leaving town for a few months, and with one thing or another, it is very likely this will all be put on hold for a few months.

I’m of two minds about this.  Certainly, The Young Man is startlingly hot, and I get all weak in the knees and crap; an outing like this may be the start of something.  Or, it may not be, and then it will be just another opportunity to make some sort of an ass of myself.  And that is something I don’t need.

If this little plot should come to fruition, and we do meet for this drink, then what?  It very likely doesn’t mean anything; it also doesn’t not mean anything, because it was mostly his idea.  If he had wanted to ditch this plan at any time, he could have.  I even gave him an escape hatch, so maybe I’ll be blown off yet.

Reading the previous paragraph, I suspect myself of being a 100 percent, 24 karat saboteur (or saboteuse, if you want to get all gender agreement about it).  God forbid that this could actually be a date-like incident, filled with date-like activities, which would be so out of line with my standard world view.  I might enjoy myself or something.

Although I shouldn’t be so hasty – he leaves this weekend, and there is still plenty of time for me to be disappointed.


Faster or Farther? Friday, May 23 2008 

Late last week, after I turned in all my intellectual chores for the semester, I realized that, for the next 15 weeks, I will not have a 50-lb. backpack to lug all over creation, as I did this last semester.  Oh yes, hooray – but the lugging of that 50-lb. backpack is more than likely the root cause of the loss of 20 pounds since January.  And that ain’t bad, let me tell y’all.  But this means that I have to replace my primary form of exercise during the academic year.  With actual exercise.  But it’s finally spring, I finally have some free time and that means I can actually do things other than read beaucoup de phonologie ou syntaxe and get out there and move.  And getting out there and moving is what I’ve started.

I’d thought to start small, but it turns out that lugging a 50-lb. backpack all over creation is excellent for building up endurance, and my intial workout of taking 5km at just below a jog is exercise, but well below what I can feasibly do.  So, since I’m all about pushing myself, I need to torque it up just a bit.  Which brings me to the slightly existential question:  faster?  or farther?

If I go faster (running instead of walking), it might be a short-run (no pun intended) improvement, but will it really get me to where I want to go?  And last night, I heard an alarming clicking noise in my left knee.  That said, I had the opportunity to run a little bit yesterday, and it felt great, almost like flying.

However, if I go farther first, I don’t necessarily eliminate the possibility that I can, eventually, pick up the pace; when I do, I will be prepared to do so much more, right?

It seems a little metaphoric, this debate, because it relates to what I’m doing graduate-school wise.  This masters’ program may not be the most obvious next step; but I think it will push me further down the road than any of the other options I considered.

As long as my left knee doesn’t crap out.

D-U-N Done Sunday, May 18 2008 

While clearly I haven’t been writing here, I have been holed up at the library, putting together all my wisdom in Syntax, Phonology and Bantu Morphology (assuming I had any wisdom) for grading purposes.  Finally on Friday evening, I was finished.  And really, I mean finished, as this is the end of my (second) undergraduate career.

True, I start grad school in the fall (staying here, by the by), and I don’t feel particularly done.  But I am.  And so the summer begins.  I have this week off, and I have a lot of errand-y things to do (since I let many things slide these past 3 weeks).  One of my goals over this summer is to carve order out of the chaos I let build up over the semester.  Hopefully, my adored job (which I am retaining for summer session) will promote me to instructor status (with my newfound degree), which would not only mean a serious bump in pay, but would allow me to quit hated job guilt-free.  So I wait.

But I’m more than experienced at that by now.